He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
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