Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
