Is it because I queefed?
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
