he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
