She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
