STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
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