So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
