Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
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