I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
