if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Randomize
