no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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