I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
