He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Randomize
