Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
