My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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