shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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