their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Randomize
