she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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