Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
