Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
