Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
