From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
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