So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
It's never too late to be topless.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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