well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Randomize
