he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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