we're blogging at a bar
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Randomize
