Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Randomize
