so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
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