i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
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