You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
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