I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
