drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Randomize
