well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
