you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
