it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
