What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
