I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
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