Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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