You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
