she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
He told me they were just razor bumps!
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Randomize
