I think my fart just growled at me.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Randomize
