Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
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