hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
