i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
