Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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