He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
