i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
