I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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