it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
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