Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Randomize
