I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
