when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Can I color on your dick again?
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
And then my night got REAL pukey
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
